Concert Review: The Bellmer Dolls

The Bellmer Dolls

With the bad comes the good, I guess. A few weeks ago I went to that church-y place on Delancy and Suffolk. Remember that place? Yeah, I went on that date there that one time. So this time, again I find myself slightly tipsy and far from home late at night. Going to see this band called the Bellmer Dolls with a good friend of mine and her sister. I love these girls, they are just darlings, and both of them have lovely boyfriends. So I trust them when they take me to a concert that I hadn't heard of. This is really rather exciting. Apparently the first band was excellent. Preacher and the Knife is unsigned, but word on the street is that they are really phenomenal live, so I am going to give them a little shout out. Based on myspace and their website, I sort of doubt that they are my taste, but who knows, maybe I will have a change of Heart. Needless to say, I missed them.

So this brings us to the Bellmer Dolls, who were unspeakably awful. They were a parody of themselves, shaking and grooving to their screechy melody-less crap. Dressed in all black, and breathing heavily into the microphone, I sort of felt bad for the lead singer. But sort of not, maybe this just isn't my bag, y'know? So I look over at my very polite, sweet friend Anna, and she is staring intently at them, sort of in the same way you'd watch a child's piano recital. So the first song passes, followed by the second, equally shitty "song". Meanwhile, I am casting furtive glances at my ladies and their men, waiting for someone else to identify this accurately: this is a graceful exit scenario. Unfortunately this is a seated show, and the seats are in a bit of a balcony, so we can't really get out subtlety. Meanwhile, my friends seem to think this is perfectly acceptable music. FUUUUUUCK. I can't escape. My ears are just burning with cruel irony. Suddenly Ashley (Anna's sister) leans over and breathes into my ear, "oh my god i'm sorry" They are horrible. I breathe a lighter, happier breath. Anna turns and agrees. So we do just that: escape to have another drink. Oh Anna and Ashley, you came through. Thank GOD. Lesson learned: don't go to a show w/o listening to the band first.

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